Pan Post 57
In Pan Post 57 Knightlord Thorn holds a meeting to discuss plans to counter the God-Killer of The Imperium. The Supreme Superweapons Division has been coming up with plans to defeat the God-Killer but Thorn himself already has a solution and declares that the one thing the God-Killer cannot do is - defeat an Average Joe. Thus he presumes to create an Average Joe army. The High Empire, however, rarely conquers lands of Averages Joes, except Coaleashion. They sent Kim to become Proconsul of the Milky Way holdings, knowing he wouldn't be able to promote the power of the people there and so they would remain Average Joes. Post Secret Weapon Against the God-Killer Knightlord Thorn: I call this meeting to order. Where is Highemp? Entity #1: Shagging his harem. Knightlord Thorn: Why do I even ask? Aryst Omnistellae, Best in All the Stars: So what's this meeting about? You're interrupting the match between Gigagod and Teradeity! Knightlord Thorn: Do you REALLY have to have your whole title in dialogue preface? Aryst Omnistellae, Best in All the Stars: Do you REALLY have to ask? Knightlord Thorn: Right... so as some of you may have heard, the Imperium has unleashed its ultimate weapon! Entity #5 gasps in horror. Entity #5: Anti-Porn Censorship?! The other powerplayer gods roll their eyes. Knightlord Thorn: Not quite that bad. Entity #5: Whew! Entity #3: You refer to the God-Killer Machine, do you not? We've received intelligence reports of it before. The Supreme Superweapons Division has a whole project devoted to countering or one-upping it. Entity #4: Wait, have they actually used the God-Killer in our territory? Knightlord Thorn: Near it, at any rate. In the same galaxy as one of our backwaters. To be fair, they already hold some territory in the same galaxy. Ironically, this galaxy that's a backwater for both of our empires is the primary staging ground for our... political disagreements. Entity #3: Hmm. I will order the Supreme Superweapons Division to kick their anti-GKM project into high gear. Entity #5: I'm never one to back away from one-upping an opponent, but is that really necessary? Surely Highemp can defeat the God-Killer Machine, despite its terrible anti-power. Knightlord Thorn: I believe that you are correct, but the effort and time spent in concentration that he would expend to do so would leave the High Empire vulnerable. Aryst Omnistellae, Best in All the Stars: I'll take your order to the Supreme Superweapons Division myself, Entity #3 - and I'll join in their work! Knightlord Thorn: That will not be necessary. I already have a solution. One so blindingly obvious that no one will conceive of it. I admit, it will unsettle you. Entity #1: Nothing could unsettle me more than knowing that Entity #5 taped me shagging Highmp. Bring it on. Knightlord Thorn: The God-Killer Machine destroys all sources of great power: gods, wyrds, you name it. So what we need to counter it... is an army of Average Joes. Other Powerplayer Gods: :O Aryst Omnistellae, Best in All the Stars: Inconceivable! Entity #4: You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. Aryst Omnistellae, Best in All the Stars: What are you talking about? That's the first time I said it. Entity #4: Nevermind. Entity #5: Do we even HAVE Average Joes in the High Empire? Entity #1: Pfft, we can go conquer some. Knightlord Thorn: Conquest would leave any potential recruits in tatters and not very willing to fight for us until a long period of assimilation had occurred. Fortunately, we already have a place that has been part of our territory for a long time, but is not yet completely assimilated. A backwater. Entity #3: I can see where this is going. The Milky Way? Coaleashion? Aryst Omnistellae, Best in All the Stars: Wait, is that where we sent that idiot Kim? If we want a good army out of there, we should recall him and send someone capable. Knightlord Thorn: Unfortunately, any powerplayer more capable that we might send will subvert our very purpose, turning Average Joe recruits into elite powered troopers, and that will make them vulnerable to the God-Killer Machine. No, Proconsul Kim is the only way we can procure such an army intact, free from powerplaying. Entity #1: I see. Very well, I'll send him the orders immediately. And CC it to his rather-more-competent second-in-command... Category:Post Category:Pan Post